secrets

.As-salamu `alaykum wa rahmatullah

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Abu Hurayrah: The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said, ‘Guard your affairs by concealing your secrets, for indeed every blessing has one who will envy it.’ [Majma' al-Tabarani]

‘Amr ibn al-’Aas said, ‘I’m surprised at a man who flees from the Qadr (Decree) when it is only going to befall him, and a man who sees the dust in his brother’s eye while he is oblivious to the chunk that is in his. And I am amazed at a man who removes grudges and malice from others but leaves it within himself. I have never regretted anything and then blamed myself for regretting it, and I have never shared my secrets with someone and then criticized him for spreading it – how can I criticize him when it has become too much for him to conceal?’

Al-Basami recited,

تبيح بسرك ضيقا به *** وتبغي لسرك من يكتم
You disclose your secret when it becomes too great,
Yet you wish to share it with one who shall conceal it.

وكتمانك السر ممن تخاف *** ومن لا تخافنه أحزم
Concealing your secret from one whom you fear,
As well as one whom you do not fear, is more resolute.

إذا ذاع سرك من مخبر *** فأنت وإن لمته ألوم
If your secret is leaked out by one whom you informed,
Then even if you blame him, you are more blameworthy.

‘Abdul-’Aziz Sulayman said,

إذا ضاق صدر المرء عن بعض سره *** فألقاه في صدري فصدري أضيق
If a person’s chest constricts due to some of his secrets
And he casts it at me, then my chest constricts more so

ومن لامني في أن أضيع سره *** وضيعه قبلي فذو السر أخرق
And whoever blames me for revealing his secret
Then he is a fool for revealing it before me!

Hammad ibn Ishaq narrated from al-Mada’ini that he said, ‘The most patient of people is the one who does not disclose his secret to his friend out of fear that something will take place between them and he in turn spreads it.’

Ibn Ishaq al-Wasiti said,

إذا المرء لم يحفظ سريرة نفسه *** وكان لسرالأخ غير كتوم
If a person does not guard his inner secrets,
And he does not safeguard his brother’s secrets,

فبعدا له من ذي أخ ومودة *** وليس على ود له بمقيم
Then how far-fetched that he will ever have a loyal brother
And love for him is something that will never last

Abu Hatim: Whoever protects himself by guarding his secrets will be able to contemplate over it fully. He will triumph with what he wishes for and also be safe from blame and harm. And even if he does not triumph or keep good ground, his resolve will allow him to place his secret in a vessel whereby he’s able to conceal it from everyone. So if his affairs tighten upon him and overwhelm him, he releases it to an advisor of his, for secrets are trusts and disclosing them is betrayal (to the one who shared it with you). The heart is only a vessel but from among vessels are that which become constricted when something is placed in them, and from them are those that are wide enough to hold what is placed in them.

Al-Muntasir ibn Bilal al-Ansari said,

سأكتمه سري وأكتم سره *** ولايغرني أني عليه كريم
I will surely make sure he guards my secret and I shall guard his
I will not be fooled by the fact that I am a noble one

حليم فيفشي أو جهول يذيعه *** وما الناس إلا جاهل وحليم
Or that he may be a forbearing one such that he’s made to spread it,
Or an ignorant one such that he betrays it
And people are not except ignorant or forbearing…

Ibn al-’Arabi [2] said, ‘It used to be said that the wise one is he who remains cautious of his friend.’

Abu Hatim: Always telling people one’s secrets will lead to incapacity and injury. If a person hides something from his rivals, it doesn’t necessitate him to tell his friends; and for the people of wisdom, what they have experienced and came to learn is sufficient for them as a lesson. Whoever is trusted with something (secret), let him conceal it and not expose it or spread it, for secrets are only named secrets because they are not spread.

Al-A’mash said (as if amazed), ‘The chest of one of them (people) feels constricted by his secret so he reveals it to someone and then he says, ‘Conceal it for me!’

Al-Husayn ibn ‘Abdillah:

لا يكتم السر إلا من له شرف *** والسر عند كرام الناس كتوم
None can keep a secret except a dignified one
For secrets are ever hidden by the people of nobility

السر عندي في البيت له غلق *** ضلت مفاتيحه والباب مختوم
And secrets with me are kept in a house, locked up
Whose keys are lost and its door is forever sealed

Abu Hatim said, ‘Success is in having resolve, and resolve is in having a strong and correct opinion and such an opinion can only be attained by fortifying one’s secrets. Whoever conceals his secrets, goodness will be in his hands and whoever tells people all his secrets will become lowly to them and they will spread it. Whoever cannot keep secrets will soon come to regret and whoever falls into regret will become short of intellect and whoever remains upon such a state will return to ignorance (jahl).

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[1] Also reported in Hilyat al-Awliya. Hadith declared Hasan by Ibn Hibban

[2] Abu ‘Abdillah Muhammad ibn Ziyad al-Ahwal al-Kufi, known as Ibn al-’Arabi: He was hafidh al-riwayaat (used to memorise Hadith) and was knowledgeable in the Arabic Language.